Wreckage of My Past

I feel like since I have lost this job that the wreckage of my past is coming into play. I keep thinking about my decisions to drink instead of going to school. To drug instead of going into the military when I could have. To listen to negative responses from my Mother when I wanted to make decisions about going away to school. I I know there is no reason to look back but with what little formal training I have I see how I have kept myself down all these years. I feel the pinch of it now. I can do one of two things. Continue to stay in this misery or do something about my lack of training. I just have to keep praying that God is going to do the right thing for me. That I just can't keep suffering like this financially. There is a world out there for me to enjoy and live and I deserve that living. I pray that I continue to keep the faith that everything is going to be okay. That I will stop looking at my past. But the Big Book say I will not regret my past or shut the door on it. So I have to acknowledge it and move on. Know that God is putting me through this for a reason and stay strong. It will be okay.