Any day now I should have my name changed. Then the work begins of contacting places and changing my name. But changing my name does not make me the man I want to be. It will take a lot more than that. I stumble today in a world of in between. I have learned to live that way a lot. When I was struggling with being a lesbian, a butch woman I always felt I lived my life in between. Sort of what it is like in living in two worlds. One world has me as a woman, the other world had me as a butch woman. I didn't fit in either world. This is what it is like right now. I am shifting through two different worlds.
Some days I feel like I am just floating between the the two worlds. It's okay because I am feeling more comfortable just floating. I am confident as to who I will become. It's almost like I am taking deep breaths and able to exhale.
For so long I help my breath. Hold my breath afraid of what people would think of me. Afraid that people would think less of me or that I would not be accepted.
Today after making the decision to transition into the life I was suppose to be. I no longer have that fear of what people will think. I feel so much more comfort in my skin. Life is good.
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