Early Morning

I woke up early. Guess I have a lot to think about. With job and future and stuff. But I keep reminding myself what Jen said. The rear view mirror is a lot smaller than the windshield for a reason. So I am going to keep reminding myself of that. Amazing though I am not in freak out mode about the job. I am just getting myself geared to be in survivor mode. I have to take action to make up for the lost money I will have. I just have to step up and do the next right thing.
I quickly thought last night that the timing for all of this is bad. How do I present myself at my job as one thing and I am becoming someone else? If I interview for a job now who am I? Damn these are the thoughts that woke me up. But I just started praying and started writing. It's the only thing I know how to do right now.
I have been thinking so much about Jen lately. What Would Jen Suggest That I Do? That is a little saying I am repeating to myself when I feel up against the wall. No need to tell Michael. It's just not working with us. That is okay. I am giving it till the holidays and then I will look at things then. I am okay for now with ME and GOD and God and I. If I need to bounce stuff off of someone I will. I have learned a lot about keeping those sick secrets. So its 6:30 in the morning and the start of my day. I am grateful to wake up and feel free. Grateful I can recognize my feelings and can work through it. Grateful to be a part of another day.
I have to take the action that is needed to make my life complete. I will do that I will move forward and not be crippled by the anxiety that life can bring.