Tonight

A little disappointed in that the clinic called and cancelled at the last minute. Once I got over the first response of disappointment I realized that every thing cannot go my way. I have to learn to go with the flow of life. So amazing these days how I can recognize my feelings address them and move on. Wish I had learn this months or years ago. Things could have been different. Or are they coming to me at the time they are suppose to come? Talked to a good friend tonight who feels like he does not need AA. I listened. I never made a statement until the end. I just shared my own experience, strength and hope with him, My experience is that I have to go to a certain number of meetings. If I don't I start spinning out of control. I don't over dose on meetings like some but I have 3 or 4 that I go to a week. My strength from this is that I stay in control with a mixture of AA, the fellowship with a few certain people and my own self worth that I am helping someone else by being there. There might be someone that I can take just a minute of my time to give them something that they are missing or don't even have. My hope is that by going I am helping someone else who helps me stay away from the drink and the drug.

I have learned the hard way that I cannot put all my trust in AA. That there are other things that are going to help me have a balance life. AA, therapy, work, my home, taking care of me. Just to name a few. Tonight I listened to my friend struggle with issues of an ex, struggle with allowing sick people in AA rule his coming and goings. I take what I need and leave the rest. I am grateful that we are all not sick on the same day. That someone with 30 minutes of being sober and clean can help me just like someone with 30 years. We all are the same just a daily reprieve.