The 9th step promises tell me that one day I will live with little or no fear. I have struggled these past few weeks with fear of economic insecurity. But somewhere along the line with a lot of prayer to a power greater than myself I have lessen that fear. It does not consume me like it almost did a few weeks ago.
I am still without a job, still have little money but I am content. How did that happen? I feel like I am just walking along this path the scenery has not changed but my attitude has.
I am more fit spiritually, I feel it. I have more confidence that every thing is going to be okay.
Today I am going to try and get back to writing my novel. It is something that has been blocking me for some time. The only way to overcome is to start writing again. I have so much to say, so much to get down but a lot of times my fingers just can't hit the keyboard. I am ready to do every thing else but settle down and do the task.
I wonder sometimes if there might be a little depression going on. I don't know. I know its not a deep depression if it is. Then I think who wouldn't be a little depressed? I have no job, no money coming in at the moment, some bills are due and I am just sometimes on the sofa staring out into space.
I have to remind myself that I have to struggle without the fear. But what about the struggle without the struggle? Does that make sense? I have to stop the do nothing attitude and do something productive every day. Its my promise today to myself. Do something. I can start by writing a blog every day. How about that?
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