Manning Up

So I have now been on T for 5 months. I see changes that are beginning to take place and its all good. I need to now become a man full time. Not that I was not trying before, but I need to change the look so that its not any confusion with people that I am a man. Michael ( my therapist) and I talked about this on Friday. His suggestion was a good one about the earrings. Funny that its is taking me this long of a time to remove the earrings. Such a small feat to do but so fucking challenging. It's like another step to killing off Charlotte. As much as I want this there is a part of me that misses Charlotte. Even though I could not see a thing that would be female with Charlotte, I still miss that softness. I still grieve that killing off of Charlotte. Charlotte went through so much and remained strong. Charley is walking through his own shit too, but Charlotte was the survivor. So this week I will man it up a little more. Make my appearance just a little more masculine. I have to cause I believe in me. I trust where Charley is going to take me. Being Charley is going to be strong, loving and kind. Just like my Father. Charley will be the man that people look up to. Charley will be balanced and stable, a sober and clean black man that walks with respect.
I can't wait for the world to see the real Charley.