So today I gather with my family. The pronouns will be different. I will not be looked at as Charley but as Charlotte. Will I correct them or just let it slide? These are the questions that float constantly in my mind with friends and family. Amazing though my AA community accepts my changes and respects my wishes. Why is it that family does not? Could it be that I need to instill it more to them? I don't know I just wish I was born a male. That way none of this would have to happen. I wouldn't have the fear in the gut feeling every time I fill out an application or go on a job interview. I would not have to feel like I am a trader. Most important I would not have to feel like I am doing something wrong.
It's a struggle with the transition. More so than just coming out as gay or lesbian.
I have some struggle every day about who I am. Will this get easier? Would it be better if I moved? I can't predict the future just have to learn to live in the today. For today I am grateful to have a family to go to. That later this evening I will be spending time with a good friend and her family. All is good. I am not going to let pronouns and a name to change my course today.
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