Sometimes I forget about my gender change and I wonder why someone is calling me a guy. A wave of embarrassment hits me and I am like I am going to be discovered. When I am around men I wonder if I am man enough.
I was at work and was about to get up from my cubicle and grab a cup of coffee. I saw someone who knows me and I went back into my cubicle. I know this woman was going to call me my other name and refer to me as female. I waited until she was gone. It's a fear that I can't describe when I think I am going to be outed at work.
Some times I wish I had moved first before making my transition. Sometimes I get angry because I just wish I was a man and none of this would have to a worry. No binders, no trying to save money for surgery. Life would be so much better at times.
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