One Year

September 13 was one year of being on T. I am a little late writing about this. I did a quiet celebration of my anniversary. I don't know its like its not complete. I want to have top surgery so bad. It's hard trying to save money on the salary that I am currently making. But I just keep praying for a better job, just keep praying that something will work out and I can get the surgery that I so need to take that next step into my manhood.

I went to the Charlottesville Pride and worked a booth for Black Transmen Inc. It was official that in Charlottesville those who know me now know that I am a black transman and I am living my life as one.

I still have my moments with my family that scare me a little about what are they thinking. What are they saying. But I quickly let go of that fear and just know that I am living my life for me. It's time that I just simply step up and be who I was suppose to be all along. 

I have fear that I might not ever love someone in a intimate relationship because there are no women out there wanting someone who is trans. But that too will come in time. What I want to do is finish my novel, finish those thoughts and get them down on paper. See if it can help the next person like me who is attempting this late in life. 

To be their voice, to the print of their footsteps and follow me.

This week I am going to a new doc for my T. This will be at UVA. I am not sure what to expect from them. If they are going to be ignorant to what I need and treat me differently. I am prepared to defend myself on what medical services I need. I am not going to be afraid to speak up for what I need, what I am suppose to get for my health. 

So for today I am feeling okay. I am feeling like I am going to make it okay. I am on the right path and I am moving forward to being the person I am suppose to be. After a year on T. I am right on target.