August 23rd

I have my prescription and the next step is to get it filled and move on to the next stage of my life. This is yet another new journey. I feel alone with this. Like I am the lone wolf out in the field away from the pack. It's not a that it's a horrible feeling. I just will be glad when the changes really start to take effect. I will then not feel so much like the freak that I feel now. I can wear men's clothes and feel okay. I will be looked at as a the male that I am. Right now I feel like I am caught in between. Is this what it is like when one dies? People talk about them being present in the earthly world and present in the Godly world. Am I waiting for Charlotte to die and Charley to emerge and bring new life?
I will just keep moving towards being healthy. Eating well, exercising and keeping my head clear. I keep the head clear by forever remaining teachable. It's work living healthy. Every morning I take the responsibility of what my day is going to be like. How am I going to treat people. How do I want people to treat me. I think that by practicing these principles in all my affairs will keep me healthy.
I need to make a commitment that I will blog my feelings, and thoughts more. I can't go back to the old routine of keeping them closed in. I have to write this out. I did a mental 10th step daily I need to do this as well. I am going to apply the steps about my transitioning.
I was a little shocked they gave me these meds so quickly. So many thoughts running through my head. Am I ready? What will it do to me? Will I die from this? Is God pleased with what I am doing? I need to just settle down and just go with the what God is doing for me. He is doing for me what I can't do for myself!